2007porscheboxster

Are you shitting me? We rushed to LAX. At night. Never buy a car at night, I know, I know, but I had this thing in my head where this was the only space in my day and I wanted to see if this car actually existed or if it was the sugar that carmax used to get the ants to it’s LAX car lot.

We went. It was beautiful in the dark.

Silver, curves like Macarthur’s beloved plane, The Bataan.

I sat in it. It was like sitting in a Yankees Baseball glove, while still on the have of the Yankee.

It had a soul. I felt it. Full leather interior.

I turned it on. It started. I mean, really, you never know. It sounded like a 2004. I mean it wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t trying to not wake the baby. It was the baby.

I took it for a test drive.

Around the block.

around the block?

 

I wanted to go on the highway but Carmax dude wouldn’t let me. Surely, it was my driving. I went from driving the Ugg boots of vehicles to a Jimmy Choo one size to small and it showed.

The Porsche was stiff. And it smelled a little.But what do I know about smells. It just had this smell. Like a cancer drug smell.

B, my husband drove it, loved it. But also wanted to drive it on the highway.

 

But it was too late.

So we sat with the CAr loan guy who tried to convince us to run a credit check. We have good credit because we don’t have children. There are a few benefits to not having children, we have to praise them when we can.

BUT…eventually, I am a slow thinker, I said no. I don’t want to run the credit until I take her on the ole highway. I wanted to get this silver dream up to 55 which is like not even a pulse for this car but we were looking for a second car so it’s not like I needed a daily driver. I was willing to accept a moody vehicle that I could afford.

So we went home and I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t believe I was going to get a Porsche, that I could afford. I read on the Boxster forums that you want to buy a Boxster for half the price so you can have twice the fun.

I couldn’t believe I had found it. and that the next morning it would be mine. Life, after years of being shitty, was about say just kidding, Life, your life, is really great! or at least will look great to strangers who don’t own a Porsche Boxster S above the 04 vintage…

The next morning, I wore my Porsche buying clothes, grabbed my husbands check book and off to Carmax LAX we went.

I throughly went through the car in daylight per the books I bought. But the truth is, No matter how much I looked, crawling on the pavement trying to look for rust, etc, I knew that whatever problem this car had, I wouldn’t find it.  It would be Deep, deep, deep, within it’s soul and unable to be revealed.

Still, I went through my checklist. The only thing I could see was the tires. They were made in Korea.

I like Korea. I figured they were some street racer type tires.

Then I googled them.

They were 60 bucks each on line.

…my jeep tires, hell the tires on my pig of a pick up were more than that…

What does this mean?

My husband took the Porsche on a test drive on the highway.

He came back.

He was in love with this car even though he had seen the Soprano’s episode where they say a Porsche Boxster is a Porsche with panties.

So it was my turn.

I took it on the highway.

I realized I couldn’t drive. I mean, I was unsure of my mirror placement. I even youtube how to adjust your mirrors because it’s not something I used in the last 25 years of driving…

but I wasn’t comfortable in the driver’s seat BUT STILL LOVED THE RIDE.

 

IT WAS MINE

It was going to be mine.

It drove stiff, and different But it felt so good.

The Carmax guy was happy. He was going to sell a car today. I was happy. I could make it home by noon and get back to work.

And then, it happened.

The engine light went on.

A little message said something like take to workshop immediately.

 

I am not joking.

My heart was crushed.

Carmax man said, yeah, I just noticed that light too.

I returned to the lot. Got out of the car. Told him I couldn’t buy it with the engine light.

He said there were no mechanics around but would call us on Monday.

We left. We never called.

 

My husband and I had a hard time figuring out what to do next.

Finally, I realized it. I told him the silver 2004 Porsche Boxster S had HIV. It would live but never quite get better.

We were back to square one. And we were in a really bad place. A place I’ll call, let’s just buy any god damn car and get this over with.

We decided to Call Rob, at Rusnak Porsche, in Thousand Oaks. They had a beautiful Porsche Boxster that we certainly couldn’t afford.

 

So, on our way, we went.

 

So the first thing I did was buy two books from amazon.

 

 

 

I recommend them. If your anything like me, you’ve just been to Craigslist and realized, if you are in California, that it is completely possible to buy a used Porsche Boxster for $9999.  I was so excited when I saw this and this really was my plan. But then I got these two books and realized buying a Porsche and owning a Porsche are two different things, for me. These books will basically tell you yes, you can buy a used Porsche but here are all the things you have to look out for.  The horror story of Maintenance is long. Phrases like IP shaft failure, rebuild engine, condensation in the exhaust systems…after reading these two books…My husband and spent 4 weeks looking at Mercedes SLKS. We test drove a bunch.  If you go to driverside.com you can search the maintenance schedule and notice the SLK has a very user friendly, Mcdonalds happy meal for lunch, type of maintenance plan. If you check out Boxster, this is the BOA steakhouse of maintenance plans.

 

I knew we could afford a more expensive Boxster, but I also knew that the expense of the car comes with maintenance (thanks to the two books above.)

 

So we drove SLKs. Took a long time to realize that what we wanted was a SLK 350 Amg body style in black.  So it could be our black swan. Top up, Natalie. Top down, Mila.

I drive a Jeep as a primary car. Jeeps really don’t need anything. They like potholes and curbs. Like a mac, they are plug and play. In the years I have driven them, starting with a CJ-7 when I was 16…I think they do better with neglect.

So, you know, the whole test drive a roadster is really pass or fail with me and my husband. If cars were wine, we wouldn’t be able to tell a Dominos from a Ravenswood.

 

What we really needed on that test drive was a very long outdoor mirror because what we were more concerned about was how we looked.

Yeah, I said it.

So anyway, I knew this and I knew were doomed. Whatever we were going to do was going to be a mistake. We were going to buy the wrong car, at the wrong time and regret it all along the way. But I couldn’t turn back now. I was addicted to autotrader.com, carmax and cars.com.

I had three projects I needed to complete and just when I got into the rhythm of the work the devil would jump in brain and say, hey, R, maybe there’s a 2005 slk 350 amg for under $24K on Carmax…go look go look…

and look I did.

So I had to buy car just to get off of carmax.  I needed a nicotine patch for carmax. I needed methadone for autotrader. I needed to get back to work. Work was my procrastination from car buying, work was my break from the stress of deciding if I really wanted to go to Bakersfield to test drive something I could afford with 70K miles but was cpo…

 

I drove slks from Mercedes Oxnard, Mercedes Thousand oaks, Mercedes Long Beach and like orange county autohaus etc. etc. and well, I felt….nothing.

As kid, growing up, I never said I wanted to drive an SLK. But I always said I wanted a Porsche.  It was a meme. My driving experience was based on a meme, a thought pattern, a dream, a wish, and not on the actual experience.

 

So that’s how I knew that if I got the SLK…I would still want a Porsche ..because I have always wanted one. And the want, the reason behind it, totally and completely irrational.  I liked the way it looked whether on I 80 from Salt Lake to Park City, highway one, Magu to Malibu, or the expressway to gilgo beach…I’ve seen porsches on these roads. Roads that seemed paved with these cars in mind. Roads that seemed to say life can be, for ten minutes, exactly like a car commercial.

And then I found my PORSCHE!